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MOVIE REVIEW: Guardians of the Galaxy

7 Aug

Hello, all! So I’ve been hemming and hawing over doing this review for ages (ok, maybe a week) because I hate doing reviews where I spend the whole time flipping out over how much I enjoyed the movie. This, sadly, will be one of that variety.

Remember this review, where I said GOTG, and I quote (myself), “kinda looked like sh*t?” I ate my words, because it was amazing.

As I’m sure you know by now, the Guardians of the Galaxy are a group of misfits brought together by their all having been arrested at the same time, which as we all know is the most promising way to make friends. When a threat to the capital of the galaxy surfaces, they team up to save a planet from destruction.

They do realize that galaxy ≠ universe, right? Guardians of the Universe doesn’t have quite the same ring to it, I guess.

I know it’s been said before (I read movie reviews like teenage girls read stupid teenage girl magazines)(quality simile there, Olive), but Marvel took a huge risk in making this movie, and it paid off. The talking raccoon and anthropomorphic tree were a lovable team, and the music that I considered totally inappropriate for an action movie added to the overall comedic flare. Kind of reminded me of Supernatural in that way…aaaand back to the review.

This movie had a perfect balance of intense explosive action sequences and well-timed comedy. And yes, it is so very quotable, but some of the best scenes were those with no words at all…Groot silently smashing the life out of a bunch of dudes and then flashing this adorable grin comes to mind.

As for the characters, I loved how every one of them had a story that added to rather than detracted from the plot. They shared the spotlight nicely, emphasizing the unique experiences that brought them together in the first place.

Collective “awwwwww…”

And as a The Walking Dead fan, having Merle Dixon (Michael Rooker) basically playing himself as the blue outlaw Yondu was kinda perfect.

Ok, enough raving. Time for the not-so-good stuff. The main villain, Ronan the Accuser (why wasn’t it spelled Ronin, like the Japanese warriors? That makes so much more sense), was kinda boring. There, I said it, he was boring. You didn’t ever care why he was fighting so hard to destroy everything, because it was never explained. The audience was just left to assume that he had some sort of insane-religious-zealot-bloodlust, which, although plausible, is a bit lazy on the writers’ part. I’d like to say the heroes made up for the villains in this movie, and they did, but a villain like Loki (I am rather partial to Loki and his tragic backstory) in a movie like this would’ve been the icing on an already-delicious cake.

Y/N: Am I hungry right now?

The only other criticism I have, and one that I have for a lot of action movies, is the lack of female characters that actually have a point. I get that these characters have already been established in comics and whatnot, but come on, can we spend more time with the camera on her face rather than her ass? Yes? No? Maybe? Ok!

But yeah. Besides a few minor critiques, this movie was excellent, and I am very very VERY excited for its sequel. I also may be purchasing downloading the soundtrack. GOD I love movies with a good soundtrack.

Side note: I think this review was just me learning how to not judge something before you get to know it…

Shoot me a comment if you enjoyed this review or if you have any suggestions for future tutorials, reviews, and tags; I’d love to hear them! Also, if someone could buy me a Groot, that’d be swell.


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REVIEW: Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

23 Jul

Hello, all! Ayyyee, a movie review! It’s been a while!

If you saw the prequel, you’ll know the premise of this movie: mentally enhanced (is that a thing?) apes broke out of their animal testing facility and escaped into the wild. Led by Caesar, the first genetically modified chimpanzee, the apes carve out a niche for themselves in the jungle of San Francisco.

Apparently those exist.

At the start of the movie, many (most?) of the humans have died due to a simian flu released a decade prior. The remaining colony is desperate to restore power and communication with the rest of the world, so it sends a small group of people to investigate a dam in the chimps’ territory. When they discover the large colony of apes that have lived in peace since their escape, they accidentally set off a chain reaction that could lead to the annihilation of both species.

Whoof. Dramatic.

Caesar is a respected leader, but his tendency to trust humans and forgive their missteps angers Koba, a (butt-ugly, mean-ass) chimp who was abused by the scientists at the animal testing center and harbors resentment against all humans as a result. When the presence of the humans becomes known, Koba believes that war is inevitable, and he does anything to insure that the chimps are on even footing when the time comes. Think chimps with automatic weapons. Riding horses. Yeah.

Ok, elephant in the room…so much CGI, and the CGI was amazing! Considering every ape is animated, the relationships between them and the humans are ridiculously realistic. Since the chimps don’t speak unless they have to, characterization focused on facial expressions, and let me tell you, there were some tear-jerking moments. A+ fantastic fantastic fantastic job. Not sure if chimps actually cry, but if I had tear ducts, I would’ve.

BUT…BUT….FAMILY oi Simon this is your shoutout 😀

This movie explores the similarities between human and animal nature under the influence of desperation, and it does it very well. It is a little predictable, but we can forgive it for that. It has my stamp of approval, whatever that’s worth.

Shoot me a comment if you enjoyed this movie or if you have any suggestions for future tutorials, reviews, and tags; I’d love to hear them!


Follow me around! I post a bunch of blog previews and other neat junk. 

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Movie Review: Edge of Tomorrow

14 Jun

Out of all the movies I’ve seen so far this year, Edge of Tomorrow lands squarely between X-Men: Days of Future Past (brilliant) and Divergent (average). It’s excellent as a summer movie you don’t expect too much from, but it lacks that thing that makes it stick with you past the 2 hours you spend in the theater (or longer, if you enjoy reading the end credits or are searching for your missing cell phone under the seat).

edge of tomorrow poster

Shoutout to Simon, who helped me theater-hop without paying for the second movie…is that illegal?


The aliens-invading-Earth plot has been played out before, but in Edge of Tomorrow, they’ve almost wiped out the planet, forcing humankind to band together in a cohesive fighting force with bulky robotic armor designed the shoot fairly harmless bullets at the big scary aliens. So useful. The aliens, known as Mimics, do manage to be a bit frightening due to their octopus-like tentacles that lash out at anyone who fails to hop out of the way.

I loved the Groundhog Day-esque concept of repeating a day over and over, and this movie managed a fresh twist on that the didn’t get old. It’s interesting to see the heroes as completely immortal; as Rita Vrataski (Emily Blunt) and William Cage (Tom Cruise) attempt to fight their way through a suicide mission and kill the alien mother, they are able to “reset” whenever one of them dies. This can either be incredibly poignant or just downright hilarious 😀

Both Blunt and Cruise are extremely strong actors, and it was a pleasure to watch them stab and shoot their way through dozens of Mimics with minimal cheese and forced romantic chemistry. That’s what I like to see 🙂

The ending, however, left a bit to be desired. Without giving too much away (but still, spoiler alert), it wrapped everything up in a neat little package when it could’ve turned a bunch of people into martyrs. PSA to writers: sad endings are okay sometimes.

Overall it was a great movie that could’ve been better. What else is new? If you like action, aliens, or actors with off-center top teeth, you should see it!

Have you seen Edge of Tomorrow yet? Thoughts?



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