Kick-Ass Review

7 Aug

Yep, this will be a kick-ass review. I would normally star out the “a” but today I’m feeling swear-y. That’s what the movie’s called, y’all.

After hearing all the hype about this movie from my friends on the internet, I really really wanted to like it. Long review short, I wasn’t a fan.

The thing that really got to me about this movie was the language. It’s not like I’ve never heard the words before, but they were so needless. This should’ve been a great family movie; it’s tons of fun, it’s got a few good lessons in it, and you get to see colorful characters make complete fools of themselves. But it’s rated R, and for a reason. An 11-year old girl spouting verbal garbage even I wouldn’t say made me cringe. I just watched Django a few days ago, and I loved it. Twice the number of f-bombs, but well-placed where they made sense in and for the story.

That aside (and believe me, it’s hard to put aside), it was way too long. Less than 2 hours, but I was looking at the clock the entire time. It was predictable; the main character Dave, who dons a diving suit and mask in an attempt to become a “real superhero,” has to go through that awkward and cliched character arc of failing a great many times before he discovers his inner strength and starts actually kicking ass. His lasted much longer that it had to. The villains weren’t well-developed; the audience was left to assume that they were evil and worth killing, and as a result I didn’t really mind when they got what was coming to them. Not a great ending.

Dave in general was an all-round disappointment. The public’s response to his “hero” antics made him out to be a masked vigilante, but all I saw was a little boy in a wetsuit wildly swinging a pair of nunchucks until some lucky break saved his life time and time again. He didn’t really save anyone, and he used his hero status to win over some dumb cheerleader who didn’t add much to the story besides fake tan and a high-pitched voice.

In contrast, the only character that seemed to have her act together in this movie was the girl in the purple wig, Mindy/Hit Girl. She was carelessly badass throughout the entire film and was the only reason I won’t throw this disk into the recesses of my movie closet (yeah, my movies have their own closet). I couldn’t take her dad seriously because hey, Nick Cage is the bane of the internet and that mustache made me nauseous, but I really enjoyed her character, minus the language.

I am generally amenable to the regular-guy-turns-hero storyline (Spiderman, Iron Man, Green Lantern, *shudder* Captain America…you know the drill), but this was too ridiculously far-fetched. I assume it was meant to have that effect, and I can see why some people love this film, but I didn’t care for it. I’d give it a 2/5 because it honestly was fun to watch by myself, but I can’t share it with my family (and believe me, they’re pretty liberal when it comes to media) and that makes me sad 😦

What did you think of Kick-Ass? Are you excited for the sequel? I think I’ll go just to see if the story improves…it does have potential.

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2 Responses to “Kick-Ass Review”

  1. anxiousandawesome August 7, 2013 at 2:41 pm #

    Thanks for the review! I’ve never had any interest in watching the Kick-Ass movies, but with all the hype, I thought ‘ well, maybe I’ll see what it’s all about’. I feel like your taste in movies is similar enough to mine (judging from what you said in this post)…and now I don’t have to waste my time finding out for myself!

    • Olivia August 7, 2013 at 2:43 pm #

      You’re welcome! I hate to do a negative review but considering the expectations I had for this movie, I had to warn the public 😉 Truth is it just wasn’t great.

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