Why Did I Buy This?

24 Jun

I’ve mentioned before that I have no self-control when it comes to shopping. I love malls, toy stores, and gift shops. I love anything sparkly or on-sale. It’s becoming a problem. Oftentimes I’ll leave a store completed satisfied with my shopping experience, but by the time I arrive home I’m kicking myself for buying the most useless junk. Today I decided to pay tribute to this awful habit of mine by rediscovering the best and brightest of the crap I regret ever having purchased.


1. A “Geek” bracelet. I am a geek, no bones about it, but when I wear this thing I feel like some hipster that claims to be a geek after playing Mario Kart and watching Superman.


2. A model pig collection. Most of these were given to me by my good friend, but the question is: why do I own them in the first place? What strange urge provoked this pig-purchasing spree?


3. A small fuzzy unicorn. I’m giving this to my sister.


4. Giant Microbes. These things are pretty cool, but after you get over the initial novelty of owning satirized viruses (and yes, the guy on the right is a sperm cell), there is really no point in having them.


5. Kooky pens. These were a hot commodity in 5th grade, and I spent well over $60 obtaining these puppies. At some point, I even knew all their names. I have not once used them to write with or in any constructive manner whatsoever. Please, take them off my hands.


6. A dagger-shaped letter opener. I found this bad boy at a Renaissance festival. Considering no one sends letters anymore I have found zero use for it other than pretending to stab people.


7. And last but not least, my ukulele, President Snow. I was a bit peer-pressured into getting this considering everyone and their brother has one nowadays, but I have absolutely no musical talent (apart from loud bouts of shower opera) and therefore no use for a freaking ukulele.

Please tell me I’m not the only person who does this.

What do you regret buying?


3 Responses to “Why Did I Buy This?”

  1. placesivegonepeopleivemet June 24, 2013 at 8:40 am #

    First of all love the fuzzy unicorn and microbes 😉 second I have 2 ideas for the ukulele. 1. You paint it all galaxy or something and sell it on etsy for a lot of money 2. You give it to me because mine broke and I had to use wood glue to fit it back together 😉

    • Olivia June 24, 2013 at 8:45 am #

      Etsy is a good idea! I’d rather not go through all the trouble of painting and shipping though, I think I’ll just learn some time when I have nothing to do (like now ;)).

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