Why Did I Buy This?

24 Jun

I’ve mentioned before that I have no self-control when it comes to shopping. I love malls, toy stores, and gift shops. I love anything sparkly or on-sale. It’s becoming a problem. Oftentimes I’ll leave a store completed satisfied with my shopping experience, but by the time I arrive home I’m kicking myself for buying the most useless junk. Today I decided to pay tribute to this awful habit of mine by rediscovering the best and brightest of the crap I regret ever having purchased.

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1. A “Geek” bracelet. I am a geek, no bones about it, but when I wear this thing I feel like some hipster that claims to be a geek after playing Mario Kart and watching Superman.

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2. A model pig collection. Most of these were given to me by my good friend, but the question is: why do I own them in the first place? What strange urge provoked this pig-purchasing spree?

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3. A small fuzzy unicorn. I’m giving this to my sister.

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4. Giant Microbes. These things are pretty cool, but after you get over the initial novelty of owning satirized viruses (and yes, the guy on the right is a sperm cell), there is really no point in having them.

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5. Kooky pens. These were a hot commodity in 5th grade, and I spent well over $60 obtaining these puppies. At some point, I even knew all their names. I have not once used them to write with or in any constructive manner whatsoever. Please, take them off my hands.

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6. A dagger-shaped letter opener. I found this bad boy at a Renaissance festival. Considering no one sends letters anymore I have found zero use for it other than pretending to stab people.

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7. And last but not least, my ukulele, President Snow. I was a bit peer-pressured into getting this considering everyone and their brother has one nowadays, but I have absolutely no musical talent (apart from loud bouts of shower opera) and therefore no use for a freaking ukulele.

Please tell me I’m not the only person who does this.

What do you regret buying?

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3 Responses to “Why Did I Buy This?”

  1. placesivegonepeopleivemet June 24, 2013 at 8:40 am #

    First of all love the fuzzy unicorn and microbes 😉 second I have 2 ideas for the ukulele. 1. You paint it all galaxy or something and sell it on etsy for a lot of money 2. You give it to me because mine broke and I had to use wood glue to fit it back together 😉

    • Olivia June 24, 2013 at 8:45 am #

      Etsy is a good idea! I’d rather not go through all the trouble of painting and shipping though, I think I’ll just learn some time when I have nothing to do (like now ;)).

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